I saw it on the radio

"A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty ‘hi-yo Silver! The Lone Ranger rides again! ("With his faithful Indian companion Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early Western United States. Nowhere in the pages of history can one find a greater champion of justice.) Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear..."

Whether on top of the heart-pounding theme of the William Tell Overture or whispered over the haunting strains of Les Preludes - both, perhaps the best-known in radio - the opening lines to the Lone Ranger radio show brought galloping excitement to this young boy of eight or nine or ten. To me, the pulsating preamble that I still know by heart combined the patriotic cadences of the Pledge of Allegiance with the Gettysburg Address! I also never grew tired of the shows famous ending:

"Who was that masked man anyway?"

"Why don't you know?"

"It was the Lone Ranger!"

"Hi-yo Silver, aw-a-a-a-a-ay

Now I doubt there's a person alive today who hasn't heard of the Lone Ranger. Almost everything about the series became famous - the music, the silver bullets, the great horse "Silver" and Tonto's pinto pony he called "Scout."

Legend has it that the Lone Ranger was originally one of six Texas Rangers caught in an ambush while tracking a gang of outlaws led by Butch Cavendish. After the battle, only one "lone ranger" survived. Wounded and bleeding, he was discovered by Tonto, an "injun" and a member of the Pottawatomie tribe. Tonto recognized the sole survivor as the man who had earlier saved his life. He referred to the ranger as "kemo-sabe," which is translated as "trusty scout."

After Tonto helped him regain his strength, the ranger vowed to hide his identity from Cavendish and to dedicate his life to "making the West a decent place to live." He and Tonto dug an extra grave to fool Cavendish into believing all six rangers had died and the ranger donned a mask to protect his identity as the single surviving ranger. Only Tonto knows would who he was ... the Lone Ranger.

As a kid, I wondered where the Lone Ranger kept his supply of silver bullets, also where he got them. I wondered about the real meaning of the word kemo-sabe. Why back in elementary school, these questions were the subject of many a schoolyard debate. Even in those often uncool and politically-incorrect days, we also wondered why the otherwise astute Tonto had such trouble with pronouns ... (Him heap big - Me little.)

The Lone Ranger made it to black-and-white television in the fifties, even to the movie screen in the eighties. But I saw it first on the radio ... exciting, alive and in the vivid 3-D colors of my imagination.

Radio. Wonderful radio. The medium that filled my head with stories and music and detailed descriptions of far away places I'd never seen before - perhaps never would, except in my mind's eye.

Radio. Wonderful radio. The medium that filled my head with stories and music and detailed descriptions of far away places I'd never seen before - perhaps never would, except in my mind's eye. I didn't need a picture or a narrator. I could hear the far away prairie wind and see the tumbleweed as it blew across the plain. I could smell and hear the dry squeak of well-worn leather chaps against a leather saddle. I could see the restless team of horses and hear the rattle and clatter of a buckboard as it passed by. I could picture a tall cowboy, and hear the clomp and jingle of his boots, walking down a wooden boardwalk toward the saloon.

I shivered in the Alaskan cold as a blizzard closed-in on Sgt. Preston and his champion lead dog, "King" - a storm that threatened to cover the tracks they were following. They might be trying to rescue a sourdough old prospector that always said "Tarnation!" - Or chasing an evil bank robber across the tundra. But in the end, you knew that Preston and King would get their man!

The dust burned my eyes and the desert heat parched my throat as along with the other cowboys, we herded cattle across the badlands in the blazing sun. I grinned when the Cisco Kid would laugh and say "Aw Poncho!" and Poncho would say, "Aw Cisco!"

I "simonized" my watch with Amos and Andy. Grew weak in the presence of kryptonite with Superman. Swung through the jungle with Tarzan. The sound of the Creaking Door made chills go down my spine. So did the haunting echo of "the Shadow knows" and the buzz of the Green Hornet.

I traveled through space with Flash Gordon. I had empathy with the adolescent problems of Henry Aldridge - I felt right at home with his gruff but understanding father, Sam Aldridge. (I liked Ozzie and Harriet and David and Ricky, but felt Ozzie was letter-sweater-wearing, football tossing wuss - a forties era yuppie, not at all like my own dad.)

In addition to these favorites, there were literally dozens of programs to choose, each one broadcast all across the country on several radio networks - the Mutual Broadcasting System, CBS, ABC and NBC. Programs like the Adventures of Sam Spade and the Adventures of Superman. The Al Jolson Show, Amos 'n' Andy, Arthur Godfrey. The Avenger, the Bickersons, Bob & Ray, Boston Blackie, Burns & Allen, Campbell Playhouse, the Cisco Kid, Don McNeal's Breakfast Club, Dr. Kildare and Dragnet. Father Knows Best, Fibber McGee & Molly, the Great Gildersleeve. Gunsmoke. Have Gun Will Travel, the Hit Parade, Inner Sanctum Mysteries and Jack Armstrong - the All-American Boy. Jack Benny, Judy Canova, Red Skelton. The Life of Riley, Lights Out, Lum and Abner. Our Miss Brooks, Red Ryder, the Shadow. Sherlock Holmes, Whistler, Wild Bill Hickok and Groucho Marx's "You Bet Your Life."

There were the daytime soaps, too (remember these?) Against the Storm, the Brighter Day, the Guiding Light. Just Plain Bill, Life Can Be Beautiful, Lorenzo Jones. Ma Perkins, One Man's Family, Pepper Young's Family, Portia Faces Life. The Road of Life, Stella Dallas, Today's Children. Young Doctor Malone and Young Widder Brown. Most all featured a somber announcer and a lilting musical intro played on the quintessential Hammond Organ!

Yep, post-war radio was a beautiful thing. A medium that inspired the imagination instead of bombarding us with every kind of audible and visual stimulation imaginable.

Even though everything that goes on now, went on then, the networks ascribed to rules of conduct especially when kids' might be listening. It declared among other things that "Cowardice, malice, deceit, selfishness and disrespect for the law must be avoided. The hero and heroine must be portrayed as intelligent and morally courageous. Cruelty, greed and selfishness must not be presented as worthy motivations ... conceit, smugness or unwarranted sense of superiority over others less fortunate may not be presented as laudable ..."

Always operating within these guidelines, post-war radio grew in popularity. It grew without ratings, V-chips or parental controls. Still, radio programming shaped and sealed many a ten-year-olds' attitudes. Brandishing no less influence than today's television, it turned me and most of my school chums into junior G-men vigilantes ... Nazi-bashing, Jap-hating, anti-communist crime-busters. Champions of goodness and humor, sworn to rid mankind of its common enemies, uphold liberty and administer justice. Oh yeah, and also to keep our fly zipped and to treat the pretty ladies with respect.

Thankfully, there's one place where even in today's morally bankrupt and upside-down world, old time radio with old time values is alive and thriving  - Garrison Keiller and his family show "A Prairie Home Companion." Broadcast on American Public Media, the program characterizes a fictional location called Lake Wobegon, "where all the women are strong, all the men are good looking and all the children are above average." It combines clean, homespun humor that frequently takes a dig at upper Midwestern Lutheran values, with down home, foot-patting music.

Ah yes, Lake Wobegon. Beautiful, blue Lake Wobegon. Alive and well and flourishing in a simpler time. Even now, I can see it on my radio. I can hear the choir at the Lutheran Church. Heck, I can even taste the rhubarb pie.

How I'd love to live there instead of in this world gone mad.

tags: lone ranger  radio  tonto  nostalgia  soaps  garrison  keiller  a prairie home companion  memorabilia  

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